Positive Vibes — F is for Friendship
John: When I was younger, I used to think I had a lot of friends. But I really didn’t. I had a great group of friends when I as growing up, a bunch of neighborhood kids that I always ran with, but as I grew older, they disappeared, as did my connections with them. Even on LinkedIn, I have a huge network, but not a ton of true friends.
But I don’t think I need a ton of them. The depth true friends require is intense. You cannot replicate through multiple friend requests. In the end, if I have 1-2 or more special people in your life, with a host of awesome memories, what else do you need?
And these relationships add up, even though you might not have many of them. Today, I am calling Nicole and we are talking careers. This weekend my friends, Mark and Mark, will talk about baseball, the Yankees, our marriages, and more. Reminiscing, inside jokes, going to eat, whatever, all of it is friendship and it doesn’t require a lot of people.
Sandy, how do remember to be grateful for the ones we have, and how do you maintain them?
Sandy – Hey John. Friendship has always been a challenge for me. When I was young we had a neighborhood group that played together, but I don’t know if they were really friends. We just lived close so hung out together. When I got into high school I had a couple of good friends and we spent time together, until someone got a boyfriend, and then the friendships drifted away.
As an adult I’ve never understood friendships. I have lots of acquaintances and social friends my husband and I hang out with, but as time goes by, people and circumstances change, and the friendships alter with that. Some get stronger and some get weird, for no particular reason.
In the last few years I’ve been fortunate to reconnect with my two high school friends, and we try to get together at least once a year. I agree that reminiscing and common history are a nice bond.
What I’ve come to terms with is that a friendship can be really good and fun, and then something happens and all of a sudden feelings and relationships shift.
I’m fortunate that my best friend is my husband. We’re completely committed to each other and know we’ll each be there through thick and thin.
In my world, friendship is based on trust, honesty, reliability, and being supportive and mostly nonjudgmental. Of course it’s also good to have common interests and enjoy hanging out together. That combination is often hard to find, so when we do, it’s a rare treasure.
Someone once told me that friendships happen for a reason (to learn a lesson or help someone), a season (when you work or go to school together, or are living in the same neighborhood raising children, etc.), or a lifetime (like my husband and I, or you and Kelly.)
That makes sense to me, so when a friendship runs its course, I understand that the reason or season is over, and that helps me to let it go.
Sandy is now offering a FREE Coaching Call, so you can see what Coaching is all about. Please email her at Sandy@insidejobscoach.com and put FREE Call in the Subject Line. She will get right back to you to schedule your call.
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