Positive Vibes — Share the Love

 In Change, Character, Communication, Conflict, Goals, Relationships, Self-Confidence, Self-Esteem

John: I got a chance to speak to Lisa Rangel this week. Lisa is the CEO of Chameleon Resumes, a resume writing and career-coaching firm in New York. I first connected with Lisa back in 2017 on LinkedIn, when Kelly and I were moving to NC. At the time, I was not good at making LinkedIn connections and I reached out to her asking if she could introduce me to a couple of hers. Now, I didn’t know her at the time, and the way I approached her may not have been the best. She responded though and then even used my story as one of her daily e-mails on what not to do on LinkedIn!! Instead of being mortified though, I took the approach of, what is she trying to teach me?

I continued to follow her since, listening to her “Pretend Your Fired Today” podcast and watching her daily videos. When she offered people a chance to connect on a 20-minute “Are You Okay?” call, I jumped at it. I am sure I came off as a bit of a fanboy, but I was genuine. I asked if she remembered my e-mails and she said she had, and continued to tell her she was a positive influence in my life. Who knew if I would ever be able to get another chance?

She said it brought tears to her eyes.

Wow.

Never forget who has helped you along the way and who has influenced you. If you have someone, tell them. They may not even know. Sandy, do you have any similar stories?

Sandy: What a great reminder John!  It’s so important to share appreciation, all the time, with anyone you feel deserves or needs it.  Of course, appreciate people like Lisa, who helped you and taught you some good lessons.  Also appreciate the clerk in the grocery store (now more than ever), your friends and family, anybody who goes out of their way to do something nice for you, etc.  Also, compliment someone on their smile, or their snappy outfit, or whatever.  Just let them know you see and appreciate them.  You could change their day, their week, or their year.

It’s vital for people to feel seen and acknowledged.  Studies have shown that people work more to be part of a team and feel valued and appreciated than they do for money.  We all want to be acknowledged in a variety of ways.

I actually wrote an article about just this thing, and want to share it with you. Although this happened a few years ago, this situation still makes me smile. 

                                                 It’s Never Too Late

A while ago I was on an hour-long talk radio show, and since it was Valentine’s week, the subject was relationships and love.

One of the areas we discussed was the futility of loving someone who is narcissistic, because they can’t really see you so they can’t love you back.

When I returned to my office, I was delighted to find a voice message from a woman who came to me for counseling 25 years ago!  I haven’t heard from her since then, yet here she was on my phone!

She said that she had listened to the radio show and was reminded of our sessions so many years ago.  She told me that after 30 years of marriage she is currently going through a divorce, because it turned out he is a narcissist.  She always thought that if she just loved him the right way, he would stop being emotionally abusive and change.  She finally understood that he never would, so she was taking care of herself and getting out.

Her message to me was that it was wonderful to hear me again (how lovely) and to thank me for all the help I gave her so long ago.  She said, “You told me 25 years ago that he would never change, but I didn’t listen.  However, I always remembered your words, and they gave me permission to leave when I was finally ready.”

I was so honored that after 25 years this delightful woman took the time to pick up the phone and express her appreciation for our long-ago encounter.  She was charming, gracious and sincere as she told me how much our interactions meant to her.

She gave me a wonderful gift that day, which still makes me smile, and probably always will.  Her thoughtfulness in making that call has blessed my life.

So, this month I’m reflecting on the importance of letting people know how much they mean to me and how much I appreciate them and their actions. No matter how long ago we were connected, it’s a beautiful gift I can always give.  It’s never too late to share the love.

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