John: I read an article on philosophy yesterday by Mark Manson. He always encourages me to think. Anyway, the point of the article is just that; thinking.

He was on Facebook and saw a comment that upset him, so he dug down the rabbit hole of research and generated a fantastic article on philosophy from it. The point was not to prove the other person wrong, although that may have been originally. The point eventually became, what if what I thought is actually wrong?

This is the hardest realization to come to. We all have intrinsic biases, and many times we look for things that can support our point of view, rather than say, you know, I may be wrong here, what does the other point of view say and how can I learn from it? We are encouraged to be lifelong learners, and part of that learning journey is to say, “I don’t know as much as I think I do, so where are my blind spots?”

Sandy, thoughts?

Sandy: This is wonderful John!  If we were all able to do this, the world would be a much better place.

We each have our own thoughts and opinions about most subjects.  These are often formed from the attitudes and beliefs we were taught as a child, and also our perceptions of what is happening now.  They might be right or wrong, good or bad, but they are ours.  We each come from our own place, and often have trouble allowing that others also have the right to do that.

You are right that we often look for things that support our point of view instead of being open enough to actually look at where someone else is coming from.  The reality is that most perspectives are right for the person who holds them, so maybe it would be wise to put our biases aside and listen to what each other has to say.

This is real communication.  When we share ideas and truly listen to what each other has to say, instead of waiting for a pause so we can jump in and argue. When we listen, we might learn something, and at the least it will help us to understand why the other person feels as they do.

It’s about respecting each other enough to actually hear where each person is coming from.  Then we can agree, or agree to disagree, with respect and without blaming or saying who is right or wrong.

I wish we had more of this in today’s world.

Please comment so others can benefit from your wisdom and experience. 

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