Just Say, “NO!”

Car Mechanic giving a thumbs up

Last week my friend, Steve, was talking about how overwhelmed he feels. He said he has too much to do at work, and in his “free” time, he’s busy every minute. When I asked him to elaborate, he explained that during the workday there are several co-workers who complain about all they have to do, and ask him for help.   Since he wants to be a good employee and team player, he always steps up and says “yes.” Then he ends up having to do his work and theirs too, and he’s swamped.

Instead of being grateful for his help, his colleagues are then angry with him because he doesn’t have the time to do a perfect job on the projects he’s taken over for them.

Steve explained that outside of work he is on the Board of Directors for three non-profit organizations, plus he coaches his daughter’s soccer team. His wife is angry with him for never having time to spend with her or do things around the house, his golf group has given up on him because he’s always busy with something else when invited to play, and his children complain that they never see him.

Steve is so busy trying to be helpful and supportive to everyone, that he’s forgotten to take care of himself. He has no boundaries around his life, and the result is that it’s completely out of control.

The problem is that Steve hasn’t learned to say “NO!” He is afraid that if he turns people down they will think he’s selfish and won’t like him.

The reality is that he needs to take care of himself as much, or even more, than he takes care of others. If he doesn’t do this, he will end up alienating the people he cares about, will feel exhausted and miserable, and his overwhelmed body will probably get sick.

Steve has forgotten to treat himself with the same respect he gives others. It’s time for him to decide what is most important, set boundaries around his time, and learn to say “NO”.

A great phrase to use when telling someone “no” is, “I’m sorry, that doesn’t work for me.” Don’t give them reasons or explain why, because they will argue with whatever you say. Just repeat, “I’m sorry, that won’t work for me.”

The other person will be frustrated because they can’t argue and try to change your mind, but you will be standing your ground, making your boundary clear, and taking care of your needs.

It’s time to give it a try.   Just say “NO!”

Please comment so others can benefit from your wisdom and experience 

For FREE worksheets on ways to empower yourself, see the Resources Page on our Inside Jobs Coach website. Also be sure to check out our Books page. 

If you’d like to bring positive changes into your life, we have the perfect thing for you.  Check out The Rapid Power Pack, and begin to create the life of your dreams. 

If you would like to feel more confident and believe in yourself, check out The Confidence Pack, which contains several powerful worksheets to guide you and an amazing hypnotherapy session to strengthen your belief in yourself.

 



2 comments on “Just Say, “NO!”
  1. Marthann Goodwin Dedrick says:

    How very timely for those of us who posses a servants heart… the truth if we are always available… the basket gets empty and we have nothing else to give. Very good example… thank you for the most important reminder. I have to say I am learning this but it has taken a life-time.

    • Sandy Abell says:

      Thank you for sharing Marthanne. A servant’s heart is wonderful, as long as you serve yourself too. Most of us weren’t taught to do that. Once you create that balance, everything comes together.
      I appreciate you greatly! :+)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

Location

Inside Jobs Coaching Company
2 East Main St. Suite 300
Medford, OR 97504
541-772-3470
sandy@insidejobscoach.com

Contact Us