{"id":1628,"date":"2018-01-29T19:37:35","date_gmt":"2018-01-29T19:37:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/insidejobscoach.com\/?p=1628"},"modified":"2019-03-10T20:39:38","modified_gmt":"2019-03-10T20:39:38","slug":"how-do-you-ask","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/insidejobscoach.com\/how-do-you-ask\/","title":{"rendered":"How Do You Ask?"},"content":{"rendered":"
Julie was frustrated. \u00a0 She was trying to get information from her employees, but they weren\u2019t giving her the answers she was looking for. \u00a0 She thought they weren\u2019t listening to her. However, as we talked it became apparent that she also had this trouble in her personal life, when she communicated with her husband, children and friends.<\/p>\n
As we explored the situation it became apparent that the problem was in the way Julie asked questions. Instead of asking what she wanted to know and letting the other person give her an answer, she often asked the question with the answer imbedded in it. \u00a0 She turned a statement into a question, and the listener ended up confused about what she wanted to know. \u00a0 For example, she would say, \u201cThe report is finished, right?\u201d when she really wanted to know the complete status of the report. When she asked questions this way she made assumptions that might not be correct, and set herself up to be wrong (the listener could either validate what she said \u2013 \u201cYes, it is completed\u201d, or worse, \u201cNo, it\u2019s not ready yet.\u201d)<\/p>\n
This method of questioning also invalidates the person she is talking with and assumes Julie has to give them the answer.<\/p>\n
Julie realized that in order to obtain the information she wanted she had to ask the question correctly. \u00a0 Together we spent time looking at the different ways to ask questions. Some of the most common of these are:<\/p>\n
Julie realized that an Open-Ended question is what she needed to ask in order to get the complete status of the report and to learn what was going on with it.<\/p>\n
Julie realized that she often asked closed, informational questions when she really wanted more information. She now understands that in order to ask the appropriate question she has to know what type of information she wants before ever opening her mouth. If she wants a \u201cYes\u201d or \u201cNo\u201d, a simple date or place, or an opinion, she will ask informational questions. However, when she wants an overview, she will phrase her question in an open-ended way designed to elicit more information.<\/p>\n
Julie experimented with asking more open-ended questions and was happily surprised to find her communication with her employees, family and friends was flowing better and she was getting the information she wanted.<\/p>\n
So, how do you ask questions? Are people confused about how to respond, or are you clear about what you really want to know?<\/p>\n
Please comment so others can benefit from your wisdom and experience.<\/b>\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n
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